Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 


You know how, in the last little bit of nowhere, I wrote the following: The winter kiosk is up. Not in flames, mind you, but we're still optimistic. Well, those of you who joined the ensuing betting pool can check your tickets, and whomever put down "October 28" gets to claim their prize.

Now before all of you start panicking, let me reassure you both Mel and the kiosk are just fine. It was just a slight case of near spontaneous combustion on the kiosk's part this morning. On a related note...with the way the company's been on such a healthy & safety kick these days, you would think they'd maybe start investing in plastic curtains that don't melt, smoke or burst into flame should they wind up touching one of the kiosk's small potlights.

As demonstrated earlier this morning, obviously not.

From the second-hand accounts I've heard, it was blind luck a customer passing by noticed the smell and the smoke starting to waft from one upper corner of the kiosk's drawn curtain. Suffice to say, disaster was quickly averted and no smoke alarms went off, and now the kiosk curtain is sporting a pretty black, acrid hole in one spot.

Although had it been worse, the ensuing call to my district manager would have been interesting.

"Uh, hi, it's me. Before you hear any wild rumours, the scheduling for the kiosk is going to be a little strange next week. Mostly because the kiosk just burned down. Don't worry, no one's hurt, and I think they managed to save a couple of scarves too. Just FYI."

At the rate this is going, all we need is a faulty self-destruct button mounted in the kiosk, and we're set!


Today's Lesson: burning kiosk curtain, according to Mel, smells a lot like those fluffy pastries you can get in the main foyer of Toronto's Chinatown Centre. So if you happen to be nowhere near a Chinatown, and you smell something like that...you might want to take an extra step around the kiosk you're passing by.
posted by Phillip at 8:47 PM

 

Today, the seasonal winter kiosk went up. Not in flames, mind you, but we're still optimistic. (Hey, we have a fire extinguisher there, just in case!) But yes, one major stress point has passed. And let me tell you, the first day of setting up the kiosk went along with absolute perfection! Totally uneventful! Not a problem or glitch at all!

...unless you count the fact that the kiosk has no power to it, and thusly no working computer. Or lights.

Or that almost half of the shelves in our kiosk cupboards had next to nothing holding them up.

Or that the barcode scanner is missing.

Or that it will have no phone line (and subsequently no Interac or credit card connection) until late next week.

Or that a part of the floor is unstable, and liable to trip or grievously injure someone.

Or that the recepit printer is banged up and dented so badly it'll be a miracle if it even works.

Or that the curtain has no storage area or even a sash to be tied up with.

Or that the handy dandy computer reference manual is all in French (which none of us speak).

Or that our manual credit card imprinter is gimped up to the point where you can't even do manual card swipes.



Okay...so maybe there was a "hiccup" or two. Or three. Or nine...ish.


Today's Lesson (brought to by "Sir States-The-Obvious"): if it's not put together by Tom, there will be problems with your kiosk.
posted by Phillip at 7:31 PM

 

...may not be exaggerated after all. Last week involved a sidewalk sale, hiring new employees, training new employees, finalizing details on the kiosk, and changing this coming week's schedules no less than 4 times. There has been a pleasant lack of crying or thumbsucking on my part, but there has been an unhealthy and unpleasant plentitude of aggravation, shifts without breaks and wishes for big red "Easy" buttons to be installed within the store.

"Ah, but it'll be all better soon!" you cynics might scoff.

I'll agree...but not quite yet. This coming week sees one mall meeting, one manager's meeting, the set-up of our seasonal winterwear kiosk, plus a probable visit from a corporate auditor who will hopefully think I'm at least doing a decent job. Plus I have 2 weeks of paperwork to catch up on, and that's all due in about 8 days.

Things will calm down in November. Maybe. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. Granted, the Commercialmas push will officially begin about 2 weeks from now, and the crowds might start to pick up. But hey! Consider yourselves lucky: this little bit of nowhere is offering only a small slice of random, transient pessimism.Or would you rather be all angsty and emo?

I could write poetry. Really bad poetry about analogies of life and meaninglessness and oh noes!!1! I am in teh depression!

On the plus side, the last few days of reprieve have been spent at Kevin & Donna's. Joygasms have abounded, included getting a happy cheap Kung-Fu Hustle widescreen DVD (which I never did see, even though a row of them were sitting right next to their fullscreen counterparts), watching Batman Begins finally, and getting the chance to laugh with friends and forget the evil that awaits me the remainder of this week.

Nietchze was right when he wrote, "What cannot kill you will only serve to make you stronger." I doubt the tasks of this coming week will kill me, though they may instil in me a desire to send out an unholy army to kill someone else.


Don't worry, it won't be you.

Today's Lesson: spellcheck. (Or barring that, betaread/edit.) Why, you might ask? Well, go into the nearest movie store and pick up a copy of the DVD Mindhunters. Read the caption at the bottom of the front cover.

Yeah, someone probably got fired over that one....
posted by Phillip at 2:43 PM